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Most Of Life Is Saturday…

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Sun, 31 Mar 2024 14:47:44 +0000

I am going to talk just briefly about each of the four days we celebrate this week – Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter – and look at how in each day Jesus surprises us and defies our expectations of who he is. It begins with Palm Sunday, which we celebrate today, when Jesus rides into Jerusalem and everyone thinks he`s coming to kick out the Romans and bring freedom to the Jews so they lay down Palm branches and shout, “Hosanna” King of the Jews.” You can understand why they are so excited because for centuries they have been oppressed and conquered by everybody – the Assyrians, the Babylonians, the Persians, the Greeks, the Romans – they`re 0 and 5 and their season is not improving. If they were a basketball team, they would be in the B league. In fact they probably wouldn`t even be in a league; they`d be in someone`s driveway playing horse, and they wouldn`t even have an H. They are so excited because finally they think Jesus is going to give them a political victory, but that`s not what Jesus came to do. He didn`t come to Jerusalem to kick out the Romans; he came to die to take the punishment that we all deserve on himself. That is not what they expected or wanted. Palm Sunday represents all the times that we get really excited about Jesus because of what we think He can do for us rather than about who he really is and what he really offers. Palm Sunday represents all those times we get excited about Jesus because we think he`s going to give us the job we want or the health we want or the friends we want. I had a student who was applying for a Rhodes Scholarship a couple of years ago, and he tried to make a deal with God. He said, “God, you give me the Rhodes Scholarship and I`ll tell everyone I got it because of you.” I remember saying, “I don`t think that is going to work.” He said, “Why not? What better way to make God look good than to make me a Rhodes scholar.” Do you ever do something similar and say to God, “Lord, make me successful, make me happy, give me what I want.” That`s what the Palm Sunday crowds were saying, “Lord, do for us what we want and make us happy.” But Jesus didn`t come to make us happy; He came to make us holy and whole. Now I know that if you`re like me you`re thinking, “Bummer, that`s too bad, I want to be happy.” But trust me whole is better; it lasts longer, it`s more rewarding, and it`s more productive than happiness, which is fleeting. Jesus came to make us holy and whole – not what we expected. This leads directly into the second day of Holy Week – Maundy Thursday. This is the night that Jesus celebrates the last supper with his disciples. It`s also the night that Judas betrays him, and the gospels imply that the reason Judas betrays Jesus is because he`s exasperated that Jesus seems more concerned about saving souls than about starting a revolution. So because Jesus doesn`t follow the script, Judas turns his back on him. Here again we can relate because this sometimes happens to us. We get disappointed with God because he doesn`t do what we want him to do. We just ignore him or do our own thing or maybe come to church, but don`t really give our lives to him. Like Frank Sinatra we do it “our way” and follow our own path. Maundy Thursday is about all the ways we turn our back on Jesus, as everyone does that first Maundy Thursday 2 000 years ago. It`s the most sordid night in human history. The disciples fall asleep instead of praying with Jesus; the chief priests put Jesus on trial in secret at night. Then the priests get afraid and pass him off to Pilate, who passes him off to Herod, who passes him back to Pilate. Pilate finally caves in like a house of cards to the angry crowds, who just a few days before were praising Jesus but now demand his death. Maundy Thursday is about all the ways that human beings fail God, but here again Jesus surprises us. You would expect him to give up on such a sorry lot, but that is not what he does. Instead he keeps pursuing us and chasing us, and as much as we run away from him, he never gives up on us. Do you know who held the seat of honor at the Last Supper? Judas – because God never gives up on us. And do you know what Jesus does BEFORE the Last Supper? He washes his disciples` feet. Think about it — in a culture where people walk everywhere in dirt and dust, no water to take a bath, nothing but leather sandals absorbing all those odors, and what does the son of God do? He kneels down and washes those dirty feet. Maundy Thursday is about how Jesus loves us in spite of our dirty feet, in spite of our failures, fears, and weaknesses. It`s about how he cleans us up and makes us whole. This brings us to the third day of Holy Week, Good Friday, the day Christ was crucified. Surely there is no bleaker moment in human history than when we decided it was expedient to kill our Creator. But here again Jesus defied our expectations and surprises us, because – as the name suggests – this horrible event turns out to be good. Not because of what happened on that day, but because God used that day to make us good by paying the price we deserved so we could be reconciled to God. It`s the best worst thing that ever happened and that`s the paradox of Good Friday, the irony of Good Friday. Unlike other religions that just pretend there is no such thing as evil or say if only you meditate right you can escape the illusion of suffering, Good Friday tells us the truth. Evil really does exist and suffering really does hurt, but God can take even the worst events and make them good. Unlike other religious figures, Jesus doesn`t AVOID SUFFERING and SIN, he absorbs them and transforms them into something good. The last day of Holy Week is EASTER, the day Jesus was raised from the dead. Easter is a powerful symbol that with God there is no such thing as a dead end. God can conquer even death itself and can take the worst defeat and turn it into victory. There is a semi-famous painting called “Check Mate” that depicts a chessboard where the king is supposedly in check mate, but one day a master chess player was studying this painting for hours and finally said, “It`s not true; the painting is wrong. The king is not in check mate; he has one more move.” That`s Easter and again it defies our expectations. You would expect death to be the end of the game, but not with God. He can make even the worse defeat a victory. As bleak as things get, God always has one more move left. Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, Easter – four different ways that Jesus defies our expectations and surprises us:1) By pursuing his agenda, not ours, and making us holy2) By loving us at our worst3) By using our sin to save us4) By turning a dead end into a new beginning But there is one more day left, and we don`t celebrate it, but I think it is the most important day of Holy Week – Saturday – the day between the crucifixion and the resurrection. What do you think the disciples were doing on Saturday? Here they have seen their friend and their Master killed the day before but also have this vague promise, which probably seemed ludicrous at the time that he would rise again. So what do you think they were doing on Saturday between the tragedy and the promise? Most of life is Saturday. We`re in a terrible position, but we have a promise from God that we only half believe. It`s after the doctor tells us we have cancer, but before we`re cured or find a new depth of faith to cope with it. It`s after the marriage breaks up, but before God heals the grief. It`s after we`ve been laid off, but before God uses our gifts in a new place. Most of life is Saturday. It`s waiting in faith and hanging onto the promise that God is going to come through for us in spite of how bad things look. Most of life is Saturday. I don`t know where you are this Holy Week. Maybe you`re in a Palm Sunday kind of mood wanting God to get on board with an agenda and maybe he will, but if he doesn`t know that his plans are always good. Maybe you`re feeling a little unlovable because of something you`ve done or haven`t done. Maundy Thursday means that God loves us no matter how dirty our uniform gets from the game of life. Maybe you`re in a Saturday kind of place – between a hard time and a promise you only half believe. Know this for sure that God`s Easter irony is still at work, and he can use even the worst tragedies for good, and healways has at least one more move left. No matter how bleak and dark Saturday gets, Sunday`s coming, and it`s coming sooner than you think.” – AUTHOR UNKNOWN –

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Dis Eenvoudig. Dit Werk.

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 19:18:29 +0000

Ek wil graag met julle deel wat nou-die-dag, in die kar, op pad huis toe na afloop van ‘n kuier by maatjies gebeur het. ‘n Onderonsie het tussen my 11-jarige en 8-jarige ontstaan. Die 11-jarige sê toe vir die 8-jarige: “Ek kort spasie asseblief…”Waarop die 8-jarige antwoord: “Dankie dat jy vir my gesê het wat jy nodig het.”Waarop die 11-jarige antwoord: “Dankie dat jy my respekteer.” Dit is natuurlik op hierdie punt waar die uwe amper die kar rol met ‘n opgewonde gejuig: “Dit is sulke goeie kommunikasie! Julle kan só trots voel op julself! Hoe voel dit???” (Dit is ‘n doelbewuste tegniek om die spesifieke gedrag te versterk en hulle buite- en binne ervaring te koppel). By die huis aangekom deel ek met pappa wat gebeur het waar kleine muisies met grote ore natuurlik kon hoor hoe ek oor hulle praat. (Weereens ‘n doelbewuste tegniek om die gedrag te versterk. Die hele situasie het my baie hoopvol gemaak vir die toekoms van ons mensdom. Hierdie generasie se kinders leer verhoudingsvaardighede aan wat baie van die volwassenes om ons nooit die geleentheid gehad het om te ontwikkel nie. Die wetenskap oor veilige binding is duidelik. Dit beïnvloed die lewe van ‘n kind op soveel positiewe maniere:~ selfwaarde,~ gesonder verhoudings, en~ selfs positiewe fisiese gesondheidsuitkomste! En dit is eintlik super eenvoudig: wanneer ons ingestel is op ons kinders en hulle met sorg en respek behandel, leer hulle om op dieselfde manier teenoor ander op te tree. (‘n Liewe, spesiale neuron in die brein speel ‘n groot rol hierin.) My hartsbegeerte is dat alle mense (maak nie saak die ouderdom nie) na geluister en gerespekteer sal word. Mag almal van ons – as gevolg daarvan – veiliger en meer connected voel. En mag ons generasie dié wees wie die bal aan die rol sit. As jy natuurlik meer wil weet oor hierdie vaardighede of dit self ‘n go wil gee – gaan loer gerus hier: https://www.wolfietherabbit.com/dashboard/ (You’ve got nothing to lose… but oh SO MUCH TO GAIN!) **** DISCLAIMER: Ek is nie altyd die beste voorbeeld nie en hulle is nie altyd so suksesvol in hul konflikhantering nie… maar dit is ‘n goeie begin. ****

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The Talent Show

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 18:59:58 +0000

the cousins are visiting. Last night the girls decided a talent show was to be had. They would be the judges. Everyone had to participate. I did not want to. Stages aren’t my thing. I was wholly unprepared. I told a joke which did not land. No surprise – I did not place. Afterward my 11 – almost 12 year old – came to me and said I sucked. We both laughed because, well, truth. However, he then went on to say that I should’ve gone up there and have been a mom, because that is my talent… (Disclaimer: this is not about me – my son has a beautiful, kind heart. I make lots of mistakes, mess up, lose my cool, have PMS, is emotionally unavailable, too screen-distracted or just too tired at times. My son is also almost a fully fledged teenager. Statements like this will be rare in the future and therefore, for now, I will take it and bury it deep in my heart.) Nonetheless, his words got me thinking: how often do we undermine and undervalue our contributions? Maybe because it is not seen or applauded by the masses. Maybe because no trophies or titles are handed out. Or maybe because we have good days and bad days and mess-up days in-between. However, a young child’s words underscored that we should never underestimate our impact. Just because it is not seen or celebrated or “perfect”, does not mean it doesn’t have eternal value. So here’s to you – and all your unseen acts of love. May you recognise the significance, importance, validity, and sacredness of showing up every day. May you honour yourself for learning. For loving. For growing. For repairing. For trying. And trying again. May you never refer to yourself as “just a mom” again, but may you proclaim, “I am a mom” with the reverence and significance it deserves. P.S. The joke: “Why did Adele cross the street?To say hello from the other side…”

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The Choice

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 17 Mar 2022 18:03:36 +0000

I choose to free my child. My child will not be held responsible for feeding my ego, nor will they be held hostage by my ego or expectations. I understand that who I am is not tied to my child’s behaviour or achievements or failures. I choose instead to dismantle my ego – my false sense of self – in favour of my core being. I will give my self the love and acknowledgement I need – to reparent myself if need be – in order to deeply connect with my child. – I choose to acknowledge effort not outcome. To encourage instead of praise, because I want my child to know that they are more than good enough at the core of their being. I don’t want them to fall victim to the trap of achievement. To be dependent on applause or trophies and external validation. Because what will become of them when the applause fades, the curtains close and the lights are dimmed? Instead, I want them to be able to complete the sentence “I am…” I want to be their mirror to reflect back to them who they truly are. I want them to know that their worth is not tied to any of their achievements. I want them to know: they are worthy… simply because they are. – I choose to distance myself from disrespectful discipline practices. I will not commit violent acts against my child in the name of discipline. I will not shame, degrade, disrespect or assassinate their character in the name of discipline. Instead, I will understand that discipline means to teach. I choose to be their guide. Not an angry, unregulated, out-of-control, power-hungry “adult-toddler”. – I choose to help them (and myself) regulate first, because I understand that a brain in survival mode… only knows how to survive {by means of very primitive survival tactics}. I understand that learning can only take place once we are both in our calm, responsive brain states. Therefore we will breathe together; I will help you name your powerful emotions; I will hold you or share space with you and I will empathise with you until we can think clearly and calmly again. – I will choose patience. – I will seek connection above all, because I understand that the only way I can secure influence in my child’s life is through connection. Because I understand that children do better when they feel better. Because I understand that children will listen when they feel listened to. – My child is not a clone, a minion, nor a robot. They are allowed to disagree with me, have a different point of view, and even choose their own set of values. I will respect them for the complete soul they are, albeit tiny, hormonal, unregulated or different from my expectations. – I will remind myself that I am not the one freaking out about a triangle sandwich. I don’t need to have a meltdown just because they are. I choose to share my calm – not join their chaos.– I choose to be present in the moment. To put my to-do list on hold. To stop chasing the future and to surrender to the now. To share the joy and awe and wonder of a first-time experience or imagination unleashed or a “just-because” moment. – I will choose patience. – I choose to take ownership of my “stuff”. You will not be blamed for my tiredness, irritation or impatience. You will not be my emotional punching bag. I will own my stuff, without projecting or blaming. I will own my stuff, by apologising and asking for forgiveness and doing better next time. – I understand, acknowledge and accept that the sign of great parenting is not my child’s behaviour, but my own behaviour. – I choose to understand that all behaviour speaks of need. Therefore, I will be your behaviour detective – meeting your need, instead of punishing your behaviour (i.e. your communication tool). – But most of all, I choose to love unconditionally. I will not love you more because you appease and please. My love will not be dependent upon you meeting a certain set of criteria or standards. And my love will not be hijacked by disappointment, mistakes or poor decision-making. This is the type of parent I choose to be. This is my commitment to you: CATCHING FEELINGS: how to raise an emotionally intelligent child FROM CONTROL TO CONNECTION: how great parents are made KNOWING YOURSELF HELPS YOUR CHILD SOME SECRETS SHOULD NEVER BE KEPT a guide in teaching sexual abuse prevention to kids iPARENT: raising humans in the screenage

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‘n Eenvoudige Gebed

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Fri, 28 Jan 2022 08:33:54 +0000

oor die afgelope paar maande praat die Here op so ‘n sagte, geduldige manier met my oor vertroue. Jy sien – ek sê so graag vir die Here voor. Ek vertel Hom wát moet gebeur; hóé iets moet verloop; of wát die antwoord op my gebed moet wees. Sug. (Die prentjie van ‘n geduldige ouer en beterweterige tiener spring in my kop op). Op die oomblik bid ek seker die eenvoudigste, dog moeilikste gebed: “Father I trust You. Have Your way.” Soms afgewissel met die baie moeilike: “Father I don’t understand… but I trust You.” Dit is vir my so moeilik om ‘n PUNT aan die einde van “I trust You” te sit in plaas van ‘n komma. In die stilte wat volg na ‘n punt, maak angstigheid en vraatsugtigheid na beheer gereeld die spasie vol. Maar die Here is teenwoordig, geduldig, getrou en genadig – verál in die ongemaklike spasies na punte. En dit is sekerlik die beste plek om Hom te ontmoet. Mag jy ook eenvoudige, moeilike gebede met punte in plaas van kommas bid. En mag ons in die ongemaklike spasies vir Jesus beleef en gevorm word nét soos Hy wil.

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Bottel en inlê

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 03 Jan 2019 20:29:38 +0000

Ek wil jou bottel en inlê - net hier waar jy nou is - so bietjie voor vier.

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Raising an Adult

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 21 Jun 2018 08:28:55 +0000

i was 37 weeks pregnant. I was naked. I was wet. I was sitting on the edge of the bath. My once perky breasts were resting on top of my huge belly and I was in tears. This is how my husband had found me. {Bless his heart!} i don’t know exactly what it was. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it was the realisation that my life was never going to be the same again. But in that moment, getting out of the bath the enormity of the responsibility of parenthood had hit me. I was so afraid that I would not be a good-enough mom to my son. That I would not be the kind of mother he deserved… six years and two wildlings down the line, I realise more and more that I am “raising adults” – I am not merely raising children. I am raising someone who will have to be able to function as an adult in this world. I am raising someone’s husband. I am raising someone’s wife. I am raising someone’s parent. And darn it – I am committed to doing a damn good job at it {even if it kills me – if often feels that way – lol}! if there is one thing in my short “toddler-party-cake-baking career” that I have learned it is this: follow. the. recipe. If you follow the recipe, the chances of an edible cake is just that much higher. It has been tried. It has been tested. Trust it. So what is the recipe to life? What is the recipe for raising an adult? i think Chris Pratt summed it up best on acceptance of his MTV “Generation Award Winner” title. He had the following to say: 1. “Breathe. If you don’t, you will suffocate.” 2. “You have a soul. Be careful with it.” 3. “Don’t be a turd. If you are strong, be a protector. If you are smart, be a humble influencer. Strength and intelligence can be weapons, so do not wield them against the weak. That makes you a bully. Be bigger than that.” 4. “When giving a dog medicine, put the medicine in a little piece of hamburger and they won’t even know they’re eating medicine.” 5. “It doesn’t matter what it is. Earn it. A good deed. Reach out to someone in pain. Be of service. It feels good and it’s good for your soul.” 6. “God is real. God loves you, God wants the best for you. Believe that, I do.” 7.”If you have to poop at a party, but you’re embarrassed because you’re going to stink up the bathroom, just do what I do. Lock the door, sit down, get all of the pee out first. And then, once all the pee is done, poop, flush, boom! You minimize the amount of time that the poop’s touching the air. Because if you poop first, it takes you longer to pee and then you’re peeing on top of it, stirring up the poop particles, create a cloud, goes out, then everyone at the party will know that you pooped. Just trust me, it’s science.” 8. “Learn to pray. It’s easy, and it is so good for your soul.” 9. “Nobody is perfect. People will tell you that you are perfect just the way that you are, you’re not! You’re imperfect. You always will be, but there is a powerful force that designed you that way, and if you are willing to accept that, you will have grace. And grace is a gift. Like the freedom that we enjoy in this country, that grace was paid for with somebody else’s blood. Do not forget it. Don’t take it for granted.” “God bless you.” listening to Chris Pratt, I realised that that is what I wanted my children to learn. I want them to breathe. 🙂 I want them to be careful with their souls. I want them to choose kindness. I want them to find clever, creative ways to solve problems. I want them to learn how to work hard. I want them to have a relationship with God. I want them to know where their power lies. I don’t want them pooping at parties. 🙂 And I want them to share grace abundantly. I believe this to be a successful recipe in raising an adult. Yes – there are many other successful recipes – but I think this is the one I want my children to learn. if you had to give your child a recipe to live by – what would it be?

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To the person who falls in love with my son

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 17:21:52 +0000

By Diana Spalding To the person who falls in love with my son, I’m not sure when exactly I’ll be giving you this letter. Maybe in a few decades on the day you marry my son. Or maybe it will be just a random day that feels right. Whenever it is that you get this letter, I hope that I will be alive and well enough to fully experience how happy I am to know you. Right now it feels a little silly to be writing this letter. My son, my little toddler, is upstairs, tucked in a bed that seems giant compared to him, and it reminds me how tiny his body is. He’s lost in a sea of blankets that I lovingly wrapped around him, before I brushed his hair off his forehead, kissed him and came downstairs to write to you. I’ve listened to enough stories to know that (God willing) my toddler is going to grow up faster than I am prepared for. His lanky feet will soon hang off the edge of that bed, and before I know it, he’ll sleep in a new bed, in a different home, away from me. And somewhere along the way, he will find you. And everything will change. Right now he chooses me. He chooses me to play race cars with and to read books with. He likes my lunches better than the ones his school makes. He wants me to be the last one to kiss him goodnight. But one day, he will choose you. He’ll want to spend his days off with you, go on adventures with you, cook for you. Right now his eyes light up with joy when he sees me. The look on his face when he first spots me in the preschool pick up line will never ever get old. But one day, those eyes will sparkle for you. He’ll study your hands, memorize your face, and have pictures of you up in his office (or, in his “super awesome pick-up-truck-excavator in a tunnel” which is where he currently plans to work). Right now I am his hero. He asks me for help. He asks me to make it stop raining. He snuggles with me when he is sick. But one day, you will be his hero. He’ll ask a question, you and I will each give him a different answer, and he will listen to yours over mine. You’ll help him discover the world, you’ll be the one to make him feel better when he is sad or sick. Right now I am teaching him how to be kind. His dad and I are teaching him how to respect others and be respected. How to listen, how to help, and how to ask for help when he needs it. And one day, I hope he lavishes you with that respect and kindness. Right now I get to plan birthday parties and make the holidays and milestones magical. One day, you will remind him to call me on my birthday. Right now, home is with me. But one day, he will be at home wherever he is with you. And the thing is, all of this is okay. It’s wonderful in fact. It is my honor to be this little boy’s mother, to help guide him as he grows into the person that you will fall in love with. And it will be my honor to know you as well. I hope that world is a better place when he does find you, and a statement like this seems totally unnecessary—but just in case, I want you to know that if you treat him well and make him happy, I will love you no matter your gender, race, ethnicity or religion, just like I will all of my children. I promise to try to find a balance between being in your lives and being helpful without overstepping my boundaries. No pop-ins, I swear. I promise to try not to give advice unless you ask. And to you, the person who has fallen in love with my son, I promise to fall in love with you. Because the person that loves my son will understand what’s behind those sparkling eyes of his like I do. That person will think his raspy voice is adorable like I do. Will laugh at his jokes the way that I do (though hopefully we’ll be over this poop jokes phase by then, for your sake). And how could I not love the person that loves all of that about my child? So right now while I have him, before he is yours, I will cherish every moment, every kiss and every snuggle. And one day, when you love him and he loves you, I will be so proud. Proud of the person he has become, proud of the person he has chosen to spend his days with, and proud, so proud, to be his mom. Love, Me

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Die lewe is nie soos die flieks nie

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 22 Jun 2017 17:14:16 +0000

geskryf deur Joanita Olivier die nie-fliek weergawe van huweliksherdenkings, romantiese illusies, ‘n toddler en honde: so is ek en my Honey-Hush vier jaar getroud. Ons het al klomp storms saam trotseer – verhuising (dink gypsies), swangerskap, slaap deprivasie, lewensveranderende besluite en aanpassings, ‘n wilde toddler. Die lys gaan aan. Met vier jaar onder die belt, voel ons trots. Hier volg die gebeure van 10/12/2014 in ons huishouding. Meestal akkuraat. Sommige effens verwronge as gevolg van trauma: ons het nie ‘n babysitter naby nie – geen ouma of oupa wat net om die draai bly nie (sug – ye fortunate ones!) Dus moes ons maar tussendeur toddler-roetines en mannewales romanse inbou. Hushband stuur vroeg-oggend ‘n voicenote en ek ‘n e-card. Ek beplan ‘n romantiese ete – “sticky fig lamb cutlets with couscous salad”. Klink indrukwekkend. Kom by die huis en daar wag langsteel rose. Die dag vorder goed, dink ek stilweg. Voorbereidings vir die romantiese ete skop onderweg. We are off to a good start! en toe die volgende… ek hoor ‘n hond blaf teen die koppie van die natuurreservaat agter ons huis. Dit klink soos Blake – ek sweer dit klink soos Blake. Ek roep: “Hushband, is Blakey buite?” Antwoord: “Nee”. Ek: “O hel sy het seker uitgekom”. Kerf die bone. Vryf die lam met olyfolie. Mors op my 7 maande swanger magie. “Darn it”. Hushband trek tekkies aan (daar is slange). Hy is fort die koppies in. 5 minute later – die vleis net in die warm pan gesit presies volgens die resep se spesifikasies – kom Toddler huilend die kombuis binne: “Daar’s poefie in my onderbroekieeeeeee – whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Maak my boude skoon!” ek met my olyfolie hande hardloop saam met hom badkamer toe. Daar is (pap – sorry tmi) poef oral. ‘n Stukkie trek deur die lug en tref my op die wang. Toddler huil steeds: “My magie pyn! Bring vir my vitamiene! Bring vir my medisyne!” Ek probeer die onderbroek skoonkry terwyl Toddler van die laaste maagpyn ontslae probeer raak. Iewers bo die gehuil hoor ek ‘n ge-beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Ritmies. DIE STOOF! Die vleis moes al lankal omgedraai wees. My hande is steeds vol poef en olyfolie en my kind steeds huilend. Ek gryp die disinfectant handwash en was obsessief – drie maal om presies te wees. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Hardloop kombuis toe. Rook trek. Draai die gebrande vleis om – probeer red wat te redde is. Smeer maar ekstra vyekonfyt met die hoop dat dit die brand-smakie sal help verbloem. Toddler huil steeds. Hardloop terug badkamer toe en probeer hom sover moontlik vertroos. Beep. Beep. Beep. Ek gee moed op. Verduidelik vir Toddler dat ek net 2 hande het en net een ding op ‘n slag kan doen (klink bekend – so asof ek dieselfde rympie gedurende my kinderjare gehoor het). hushband kom swetend terug: “Ek kry Blake nerens. As sy in ‘n gat geval het sien ons haar nie weer nie”. (Sy was al voorheen in ‘n gat.) My maag draai – nie ons dogtertjie nie – spanning. Ek dek die minimum (glad nie soos ek beplan het nie) en sit die gebrande kos op die tafel voor. Toddler skree: “Dit is nie lekker nie! En vryf sy tong met die palm van linkerhand”. Ek en Hushband eet in stilte – hier en daar krap-krap – want die brand-smaak kom verby die vyekonfyt. Toddler is steeds ongelukkig. Hushband: “Gaan bad hom asseblief, want ek kan die stres nie meer hanteer nie.” Hushband is weer fort – die keer in die kar om die verlore Blake op te spoor. Ek tap die bad. Gedagte: Ek wonder of Blake in die kar kan wees? Loop kar toe. Geniet die 30 sekondes van stilte in die garage (sug), want daar kan ek Toddler nie hoor huil nie. So wrintiewaar – Blake le in die kar. Hushband het verniet gesweet, die koppies ingehardloop en vir Blake begrawe. ek sien hom ry in die kar. Swaai my arms soos ‘n besetene – ons hond wat verlore was is weer gevind! (Gedagte – wat dink die bure?!) Toddler is deur die water. Met Milo in die hand en baie mamma-liefde raak hy weer mens. Stilte en vrede daal weer oor die huis. hierdie vertelling word opgedra aan alle paartjies, wie op lomp maniere poog om romanse en liefde lewendig te hou (met ‘n spoegdoek oor die skouer en ‘n toddler aan die rokspant). Paartjies wie besef dat die grootste geskenk wat ons ons kinders kan gee – ‘n gesonde huwelik is. Paartjies wie weet dat dit nie perfek hoef te wees nie, maar dat ons net moet aanhou probeer. Here’s to you! I salut you.

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Kissing my Four-Year-Old Son Goodnight for the Last Time

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 18 May 2017 13:40:58 +0000

written by Joanita Olivier Tonight I kissed my four-year-old son goodnight for the last time, for tomorrow he turns five. I was filled with contradicting emotions – some of which have been identified and others that still need some figuring out. There was relief. Relief that he now sleeps through the night (at some point in time I thought it would never happen). Relief that he can understand no in the absence of a temper tantrum (most of the time). Relief that he can wipe his own cute bum (sometimes sufficiently ?). Sadness was definitely also present. Sadness that time is flying by so quickly. That my squishy baby is forever gone – knobbiness being the daily reminder (knobby knees; knobby feet; knobby shoulders). But most of all there was overwhelming thankfulness. I still can’t believe that I get to be his mamma! I also remembered the moment I held him for the very first time. One of the many thoughts that had crossed my mind was that I had no idea who he was. Five years down the line I know what every facial expression means. I know what excites him; I know what will upset him. I know his heart. I am amazed at the person he is becoming. #suchagoodkid So tonight, kissing my four-year-old goodnight for the last time, I consciously listened a little more intently. I looked a little more closely and I held him a little while longer. Forever is never going to be long enough. I will always be his biggest fan. ❤

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Die Storie van ‘Real’

WOLFIE THE RABBIT — Thu, 18 May 2017 13:24:09 +0000

hierdie is mooiste Blanks (voor en na). My seuntjie se geliefde lappie en vertroueling vir die afgelope vyf jaar. Hy is lief vir Blanks – regtig lief – en so het ek ook lief geword vir Blanks. Soms word Blanks net aan ‘n punt saam gesleep op een of ander avontuur of soms styf gefrommel in sy hand. Gereeld word hy onder sy neus gedruk in die holte van sy twee handjies en dan asem hy vir Blanks diep in (want Blanks ruik soos veilig en bekend). Hy was al herkenbaar room-kleurig en onherkenbaar bruin. Blanks se gunsteling speletjie is wegkruipertjie. Dit het al vir lang trane en gefrustreerde ouers besorg, want mamma en pappa wil nie meer laat-aand wegkruipertjie speel nie! Maar lojale ‘Boomerang-Blanks’ kom altyd weer terug. En Blanks vertel op die mooiste moontlike manier die storie van ‘Real’: “‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’ ‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit. ‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’ ‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’ ‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.'” – The Velveteen Rabbit

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