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Dis Eenvoudig. Dit Werk.
Ek wil graag met julle deel wat nou-die-dag, in die kar, op pad huis toe na afloop van ‘n kuier by maatjies gebeur het. ‘n Onderonsie het tussen my 11-jarige en 8-jarige ontstaan. Die 11-jarige sê toe vir die 8-jarige: “Ek kort spasie asseblief…”Waarop die 8-jarige antwoord: “Dankie dat jy vir my gesê het wat jy nodig het.”Waarop die 11-jarige antwoord: “Dankie dat jy my respekteer.” Dit is natuurlik op hierdie punt waar die uwe amper die kar rol met ‘n opgewonde gejuig: “Dit is sulke goeie kommunikasie! Julle kan só trots voel op julself! Hoe voel dit???” (Dit is ‘n doelbewuste tegniek om die spesifieke gedrag te versterk en hulle…
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The Talent Show
the cousins are visiting. Last night the girls decided a talent show was to be had. They would be the judges. Everyone had to participate. I did not want to. Stages aren’t my thing. I was wholly unprepared. I told a joke which did not land. No surprise – I did not place. Afterward my 11 – almost 12 year old – came to me and said I sucked. We both laughed because, well, truth. However, he then went on to say that I should’ve gone up there and have been a mom, because that is my talent… (Disclaimer: this is not about me – my son has a beautiful,…
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They Get To Have Their Feelings
Parents are allowed to hold the boundaries. And kids… well they are allowed to feel upset about it. Does that make you do a double-take? Well, it ought to, because it is so contradictory to how most of us were raised. Parents used to think that they could dictate how children should feel about something which, in hindsight, makes no sense at all. Spoiler alert: we can’t hi-jack their feelings or experiences! They get to have their feelings. If the thought of the aftermath of boundary setting makes you break out in a cold sweat, wanting to reach for a tub of ice cream, an adult beverage or a solitary,…
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The Choice
I choose to free my child. My child will not be held responsible for feeding my ego, nor will they be held hostage by my ego or expectations. I understand that who I am is not tied to my child’s behaviour or achievements or failures. I choose instead to dismantle my ego – my false sense of self – in favour of my core being. I will give my self the love and acknowledgement I need – to reparent myself if need be – in order to deeply connect with my child. – I choose to acknowledge effort not outcome. To encourage instead of praise, because I want my child…
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When Only YOU Will Do!
Let’s talk parental preference for a moment. Yes – it is a thing. You know those times when your toddler only wants one parent to do absolutely e-ve-ry-thing. That, friends, is parental preference. It can be exhausting for the (cue the deep announcer voice with an echo) CHOSEN… CHOSEN… chosen one and frustrating (even rejecting) for the other parent. Don’t worry – you didn’t do anything wrong; you didn’t mess up. Preference does not equate love! Underdeveloped toddler brains are obsessed with control – OB-SESSED. So, this is just one more area where they try to explore (exert) decision-making and autonomy. (Remember: it is developmentally their job to push boundaries…
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“Everyone wants to hold the baby, who will hold the mother?”
This article, excellently written by Samantha Herbst, highlights the silent, isolating struggle mothers face on a daily basis: the reality that motherhood isn’t only “wonderful and a blessing and beautiful”. It is also hard and tiring and ugly and frustrating and isolating at times. Motherhood does not only involve meeting the needs of another around the clock (at the expense of our own I might add), but it also confronts us with our own unhealed wounds, right in the middle of an identity crisis where we mourn the loss of our pre-pregnancy identity. The perfect storm. Be gentle with yourself. Do the inner work. Show kindness and care and consideration.…
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Freed From Our Ego
my social media feeds are full of beaming faces of parents or children – holding trophies, occupying a position on a podium, or fulfilling a spot on an academic leaderboard. Proud moments indeed, but have you considered the toll? Imagine the weight of the responsibility on our children when they feel responsible for fulfilling us? How untenable and unhealthy the role. Imagine the burden they feel when they have to perform like circus monkeys for our attention, praise and validation. What about the quiet moments – when they just are? Is that good enough? Do you acknowledge who they are at the core of their being instead of their performance?…
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parenting memes
we recently shared some parenting memes on our Facebook page and it had our followers reacting! It just goes to show how much parents can relate to the challenges of parenting. #thestruggleisreal. any guesses as to what kind of meme got the most reactions? I’m not sure if we should be worried about the current generation of parents or if it is the only way parents are able to survive the toddler years?? here is a roundup of the top 7: isn’t this just so like us moms? Our kids look like they just stepped off the pages of a kids fashion campaign and we wear the underwear with…
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50 Questions to Ask your Wildling
so this is how conversations with my pre-schooler on the ride home from school usually went: Me: “Hello my schnookie-pookie-looky-dooky. I missed you so much!” Him: “Hello.” Me: “How was your day?” Him: “Fine.” Me: “What did you do?” Him: “We played.” Me: “Oh, what games did you play?” Him: “I can’t talk now I’m eating.” (Eating his left-over sandwiches from school…) problem was – I asked the kid closed-ended questions, which only begged for simple answers. It didn’t really provide me with any insight into how he saw himself or the world. Open-ended questions were the answer. They help to inspire conversations and a healthy curious mindset, which enhances relationships,…
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What Does the South African Mouse Pay per Tooth?
the tooth mouse, or fairy if you prefer, is an almost universal concept. The loss of the first tooth is a significant milestone in the life of every child. So much so that some believe the loss of the first tooth to herald a whole new phase of childhood. It is celebrated around the world in many different ways, but whether the tooth is left under a pillow, in a box next to the bed, or in some cases thrown on to the roof, every child knows to expect a visit from the magical tooth mouse. This little creature is said to visit in the deep of night, removing the tooth…
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Don’t Forget to Remember
it lasted forever and ended so soon. these beautiful pages will help keep your wildlings’ school memories safe! With fun colours and doodles, these templates are easily printable at home. There are lots of questions for your wildling to answer. The wording changes and grows with each passing year. There is space for a self-drawing, a summary of likes and dislikes, special memories and future goals. There is also a place to add your child’s school photo from each year. Available in pretty pastels or unisex, gender neutrals. DON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER school memory book | pastel or unisex | R110.00
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THE REAL BABY MILESTONES {the books don’t tell you about}
favourite alert! NEW! Monochrome. Unisex. Modern. Ridiculously cool graphics. NO shipping charges! Downloadable. the set includes: 15 – age milestone cards from 1 week up to 1 year 6 – alternate development milestone cards to document things like first tooth and first giggle 11 – hilarious cards to document #momwins and #momfails, i.e. the {REAL} baby milestones the books don’t tell you about: surviving screaming car rides, showers with spectators, poo-superpowers, and the list continues. Why? ‘Cause it’s a big deal. Every milestone is a big step (the good, the bad, and the ugly). THE {REAL} BABY MILESTONES photo prop cards | downloadable | unisex | R165.00
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Child Obsession, Future Profession
we recently asked our social media followers what their child’s future profession would be had it been based on their child’s current obsession. Amongst the usual suspects of police man, vet, artist, doctor or teacher, there were also these {too good not to share}: Bailey Rae Mackie: “A potato peeler 🙂 ” Khetho Mngomezulu: “A preacher!! She’s always “reading” the Bible and keeps telling me to say Amen!!” Sne Mng: “Oh a politician. She cried when mam Winnie passed on and she loves Cyril (Cylil Lamaphosa).” Tiana Murray: “A snail specialist.” Anna Saunders: “A messy slob or crash test dummy.” Masetshaba Hunadi Mogajane: “T.V. Analyst 🙂 🙂 ” Jenny Higgins: “A food…
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Never Go to Bed
Little boys should never be sent to bed. They always wake up a day older. ❤️
