People will often say that they need to go “find themselves”. They embark on gap years, do cleanses and detoxes, declutter or go on some journey to exotic far-off places. The truth is we don’t need an elaborate trip. The only journey (and probably most important) we need to embark on is a journey inward. Mustering up the courage to look in the mirror and really see who it is we truly are. To join the dots in a coherent narrative about our life and how we got to be where we are. For we are not lost (usually merely unconscious). We are not some crumpled up note that is…

Pain: She is trying to escape… but the tornado keeps pulling her back in. She keeps spinning and spinning. Healing:It’s not always about escaping though. Sometimes you have to learn how to survive inside of it. Right in the middle of all that spinning you can let that tornado rip apart your heart… or you choose how to let what has happened to you affect you. Only you can decide who you want to be. No one else can do that. SOME SECRETS SHOULD NEVER BE KEPT a guide in teaching sexual abuse prevention to kids

this illustrated story by Manuela Molina is a lovely child-friendly and emotionally safe way to support children’s understanding of COVID-19 and to help reassure them. It can open up conversations about any underlying fears or anxiety they may have regarding the current state of affairs. be sure to watch what you say and how you talk about COVID-19 to others in your children’s presence. They will pick up on your anxiety and underlying fears, which might trigger their own emotional reactions. (Children look to their parents’ emotional reactions to gauge how they should feel / react to situations). The key is to communicate calm and reassurance to your children and…

in the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for your child is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your child feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities. if this describes your wildling, do: have face-to-face time give undivided attention engage with child and ask for engagement back don’t: avert your eyes while talking leave long bouts in between one-on-one time look at your phone or…

don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. If this is your child’s primary love language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that they are known, they are cared for, and they are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to them. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly. if this describes your wildling, do: change it up between large and small gifts take the time and effort to think of a meaningful…

a child whose primary love language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship. if this describes your wildling, do: be in physical proximity use gentle touches pay attention to the messages you are sending with your body language don’t: be too rough and physically hurt your child disregard boundaries and personal space when they…

can helping your child pick up toys really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” child will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear is: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments and making more work for them tells them that their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks really loudly to these kids. if this describes your wildling, do: • help them learn to do something better • show support of their efforts • lend your assistance to lighten the workload don’t: • create more work for them •…

in my introductory blog post to this series, Loving Your Child Effectively, the importance of loving your child in the language they understand was highlighted. If we love our children effectively, it strengthens our relationship and fills up their emotional tank. A child whose emotional tank is filled, is also less likely to act out. #winning actions don’t always speak louder than words. For some wildlings, words are especially powerful. Their primary love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. They feed off written or spoken appreciation and encouragement. They might also be especially sensitive to criticism. Unsolicited compliments mean the world to them. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing…

do you know about love languages? maybe I can use an example. We lived in a tiny farming town in the North of Italy for a year. It was magical. Despite it being the 21st century – most Italians only speak… Italian. And I mean ONLY. Every product in every shop is in Italian. Every street sign is in Italian. Every television programme is – you guessed it – in Italian. I guess it was just as hard for them to believe that we could not speak a word of Italian as it was for us to believe that they could not understand a word of English. We tried to get along…