Freed From Our Ego

my social media feeds are full of beaming faces of parents or children – holding trophies, occupying a position on a podium, or fulfilling a spot on an academic leaderboard. Proud moments indeed, but have you considered the toll? Imagine the weight of the responsibility on our children when they feel responsible for fulfilling us? How untenable and unhealthy the role. Imagine the burden they feel when they have to perform like circus monkeys for our attention, praise and validation. What about the quiet moments – when they just are? Is that good enough? Do you acknowledge who they are at the core of their being instead of their performance? Does your child know that they are more than good enough at the core of their being or will they one day fall victim to the trap of achievement? Left feeling empty and dependent on applause or trophies and external validation? What will become of them when the applause fades, the curtains close, the lights are dimmed and the podiums are packed away? Will they be able to complete the sentence “I am…” Are you their mirror – reflecting back to them who they truly are? Do they know that their worth is not tied to any of their achievements? Do they know that they are worthy… simply because they are?

So, support your child. And be proud, but also choose to free your child. Free them from the responsibility of feeding your ego. Set them free from the hostage-taking of your expectations. Because you see, who we are is not tied to our child’s behaviour or achievements or failures. If we over-focus on our children, in all likelihood we are neglecting our own passions and expectations and standards. We are distracting ourselves from the next steps we need to be taking in our own lives. So find your own passion and purpose. For your child’s sake and your own – you must.