Loving Your Child Effectively

do you know about love languages?

maybe I can use an example. We lived in a tiny farming town in the North of Italy for a year. It was magical. Despite it being the 21st century – most Italians only speak… Italian. And I mean ONLY. Every product in every shop is in Italian. Every street sign is in Italian. Every television programme is – you guessed it – in Italian. I guess it was just as hard for them to believe that we could not speak a word of Italian as it was for us to believe that they could not understand a word of English. We tried to get along with finger-pointing and hand gestures, but it was frustrating – sometimes to the point of tears. It can make you feel incredibly lonely and emotionally isolated, because language is a “connector”. So what I am trying to say is: if I spoke to you in the best Italian. If I had the best vocabulary, and hand signals it would mean absolutely nothing, nada, zilch, boggerol if it was not a language you understood. It would then only be a collection of sounds. It would be frustrating – to you and me both!

it works the same with love languages. There are 5 primary love languages. We all speak and understand a different combination of the 5 love languages. If you speak to me in the love language I understand, I feel fulfilled and loved and satisfied. However, if you spoke to me in a love language that I do not understand, it might be “nice”, but it won’t make me feel loved. It will lead to a sense of loneliness, emotional isolation and frustration, despite your best efforts. Not necessarily the best recipe for a fulfilling relationship.

therefore, if I want to love my child effectively, I need to know their love language and show my love to them in the way they understand. The 5 love languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, giving gifts and acts of service.